We Have To Let You Go

I wrote this 7 years ago today. The version of me who pigeonholed himself into an identity based on a college degree would have never seen the opportunities I've been afforded, much less had the balls to take advantage of then.

I'm glad I opened my eyes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Years ago I lived in Carrboro which is a small town right outside of Chapel Hill. It was a great place to live and I enjoyed it, despite getting off to a rough start. Right after I moved there the company I’d been working for since I graduated college laid off a bunch of people, including me.

After that I spent a good bit of time unemployed. Back then was my job was my identity and, without it, I slipped into a period of depression that didn’t end until nearly a year later when I landed a job with a startup IT company in Durham.

Shortly I began feel like my life was on track. I was making decent money again, bought and renovated a house, and started contributing to my 401k. I was promoted and began taking on more responsibilities at work, doing larger projects, and begun traveling to the other offices in Baltimore and Philadelphia.

Life was good.

Until it wasn’t.

On an otherwise normal day at the office I learned that it would soon be closing. I could either move Baltimore or accept a severance package.

I was in no position to move to Baltimore.

I remember thinking, “holy shit, I was just getting used to a normal life again.”

I fumbled about for a bit looking for other jobs. Quickly, I figured out that I’d screwed myself. The business model at the old company was based on providing very basic programming services.

And, after taking a project management position, I’d hardly done any programming anyway.

I was more of a guy that used to be a programer than anything else.

So when I interviewed for programming jobs they found me to be out-of-touch. And at interviews for project management positions they found me to be inexperienced.

So it was rejection after rejection after rejection.

Things were starting to get bad and, for a while, I worried that it would spiral out of control.

Eventually I said, “the hell with this, I don’t have to be stuck in this industry,” and got my real estate license.

After that, things were perfect and I lived happily ever after.

No, I’m just kidding. It was super hard. Anybody that tells you that getting started in the real estate business is super easy was either incredibly lucky or is incredibly full of shit.

Now, I promise this isn’t one of those feel-good “everything happens for a reason” stories, but I did learn something from finding myself in this circumstance - our jobs should not define who we are.

I look back now and wonder what opportunities I missed the first time I was laid off when I limited myself not just to IT jobs, but also only to jobs that I deemed acceptable based on my degree.

In hindsight, I’m certain I missed at least one or two opportunities simply because I wasn’t in the frame of mind to see them.

I did the same thing after I was laid off the second time, until I realized what a great opportunity real estate was for me at the time. Starting this business, quite literally, altered the course of my life. It paved the way for me to own my own companies, invest in real estate, and provide for my family all while maintaining control of my life and schedule.

I’ve recently taken advantage of several opportunities that are going to work out very well in the long run. I’ll tell you about them some other time but, as it pertains to this story, just know that these opportunities have been staring me in the face for years.

But I'd been missing them because my mindset had become that I was “just a real estate agent.”

I was not just a real estate agent.

This is what I know now: whatever all of us are, we do not have to be just that.

Opportunities are everywhere, but you'll miss them if you're not in the frame of mind to see them.